petal-pushings:

I hate when you’re sad for no reason; you’re with people, you’re fine, you’re happy, you’re laughing and smiling, but at the same time it almost feels like you’re not there. You keep dazing in and out of conversations, you cant focus on one single thing. And once you’re by yourself you don’t want to do anything, you’re sad and feel alone. Someone asks you what’s wrong and you want to tell them, but you don’t even know what’s wrong yourself.

(Source: pieceofquart, via lifestoughholdontightmydear)

I’ve been at this point where I don’t know how to be happy or can’t be happy. The only time I feel anything is when I’m upset. When I’m not upset I feel nothing. I feel empty. So I make myself feel upset just to feel something. I don’t know how to change and I’m not sure that I want to. I never think “positive” I just can’t. People don’t understand they say I’m making it up or I just say stuff for attention but I’m not. I don’t care about anything or anyone and I don’t want anyone to care for me. I’m not sure if I want to change or not. I am alone and always will be. I can only pretend for so long. I just want a friend…. everyone expects me to give them the world then disappointed when I can’t. I do try but to others I don’t so why even try anymore. I don’t know what to do.

depression hopeless help alone pretend